Selling a Little Piece of My Soul

My desire to be connected to friends far away has finally prevailed over my moral opposition to facebook.  I have joined and will be hearing about it for awhile from, well all of my friends seeing as they are all on facebook.  I can't help feeling like I've sold out a bit though.  Its just that I don't understand the point.  I don't really want the whole world to know all about my favorite books, movies, and music.  There was a time when I was all about that kind of stuff, but for whatever reason its seems really invasive for me.  Maybe its a control thing.  More accurately it is a merit thing for me.  I feel like in a friendship you make an effort to find these things out about people, to really connect with them.  On facebook it just seems so artificial.  It creates this idea that we know and are connected to people when really its just a set of facts, not shared life.  These are my purist ponderings.  I realize that it is not that simple or that easy and clearly facebook has filled a place and purpose in our lives.  Please take this with a grain of salt.

For the First Time in Awhile

I can't articulate the feelings, thoughts, emotions I am experiencing. Actually it is really silly for me to be blogging about this because I don't actually know what to say. There are all these thoughts going through my head some good, some irrational, some practical, just lots of thoughts swimming around. It seems like possibly my entire life is changing. There are a number of things that are happening that are causing me to re-think everything I'm doing. If nothing else though it is pushing me more towards God. Never have I been so thankful for last summer and the time I spent digging in with God really starting to get to know him. Now I have this friend that I can sit around and chat with about these things and even though it seems like a lot, having God involved really seems to be taking the edge off.

A God That Loves Slackers Too

It occurred to me yesterday that God loves slackers too.  I discovered this because not surprising to anyone reading this I have a history of being a classic slacker.  Actually my history is similar to a roller coaster.  I start with high hopes and great intentions of being an over achiever and then realize it is just too much work and get over it.  This cycle has been somewhat limiting for me, but that is another post for another time.  Back to the original subject.  My church did this 40 days of faith series where everyone prays for one specific thing over the 40 days.  I started praying to go abroad and did well for awhile, but then other things came up to pray about that seemed to supersede praying for travel.  So I became a bit of a 40 days of faith dropout.  Yet I am still getting to leave the country not once but twice this summer!!!  I was talking to a friend about this and I said, "God is encouraging my slacking."  This pretty wise friend promptly corrected me and responded with something to the effect of, "Its not that He wants to encourage your slacking, but that He likes to do things for us despite what we do."  I love that reasoning.  I get to participate in the process, but it is not dependent on me.  That seems to be the common theme these days.  What God does is not dependent on what I do, but he asks me to be part of the process.  We get to have a say.  We get to be persistent and heard by God even though he can do whatever he wants.

Its Been Awhile

But I have good reason.  Life has been very busy.  I am definitely going to Sweden, bought the tickets today.  Woo hoo!  Trying to finish school.  Led a 4th and 5th grade retreat for the kids at church.  It was amazing.  Our kids are great!!!!  But even better its great to see them getting to know God and really diving in.  It was also a great opportunity to just pour into and encourage the kids.  Though I was really tired and exhausted when I look at the whole picture it was incredible and well worth it.  On another note I have started dating a man I can only describe as fantastic.  It has been so fun and refreshing so far.  I could gush for awhile, but somehow it all just seems to personal to put on my blog.  I will say one thing though.  For the first time in my life I don't feel like I have to choose.  In the past I've always felt I had to choose between God or the guy.  This being why nothing every moved into any semblance of a normal relationship.  I always ended up choosing God.  This time I don't have to.  I GET BOTH!!!!!!!!  Have I mentioned I serve an incredibly generous God?!?!?